Last night as my husband and I closely watched our instructional video, set up our prep station and prepared for my hormone injections, we found ourselves reminiscing to 7 years ago when we first embarked on our own IVF journey. We talked about all the wonders and worries we shared, the emotions we felt, all the hormone injections I had to take, the embryos that were able to be created, and of course our biggest blessing, our son. The child, that if not for IVF, would not even be here. And as my husband began to give me my first hormone injection, we both fill up with excitement and happiness as this time was going to be much different than the first because this time we were not getting my body ready for our own baby but instead for someone else’s baby.
Just knowing that we could do this for another couple, who cannot carry their own child, brought the greatest feelings of joy to us.
Struggling to have a child, going through IVF treatments, it really wasn’t something I fully understood or even thought about until I went through it myself. I could not believe all the tests, all the injections, how long it all took, the pain and suffering and emotions involved. I thought about all the woman and all the couples that were struggling right along side my husband and I. It literally broke my heart. IVF for us was a blessing because it created our son. It made the impossible, possible but I always knew in the back on my mind that not everyone was as lucky as us and I wished I could do more to help and support those struggling to have a baby.
As life went on for us, two more miracles occurred throughout the years as somehow, someway we ended up conceiving naturally not once but twice. As our life became chaotic and challenging at times, we always remembered to be thankful for our 3 blessings (even on days when they drove us a bit crazy). We were so thankful for our miracles and decided our family was now complete and that we were done having children. Around that same time a close friend of mine from high school reached out to me as she and her husband were ready to have children but were struggling and she wished to speak to me about my personal IVF experience. I was glad to be there for her as a support system, answer questions and help her in anyway that I could.
While my friend and I tried our best to keep in touch, life was busy and we were states apart from one another however I did eventually learn that my friend struggles were so severe that her body was no longer able to carry a child and as difficult as this was for her, there was a light at the end of the tunnel as my friend and her husband were able to find someone else to carry their child; a surrogate. Learning this really excited me and at the same time intrigued me. I found myself researching surrogates, looking into the process and getting back in touch with my friend to find out all the details. It was then that I realized this is something I want to do. This is how I can finally help someone that is unable to conceive or carry a baby of their own. It was then that immediately reached out to Eloise at Family Inceptions.
My friend had highly recommended her and after speaking with Eloise for 2 plus hours, I knew why. She was honest and upfront. She not only told me about all the amazing success stories but she also shared the sad and emotional stories as well (the ones we don’t want to think about, the ones we may not want to hear). After listening to all those stories and learning about the entire surrogate process, discussing with my husband and family, I decided that this was 100% for me.
At first the process was all about me. My current health history, filling out and answering questionnaire upon questionnaire, complying all my past medical history, getting physical exams done, bloodwork drawn and going through both phone and in person interviews, along with a psychological assessment. It was a lot of work, it was exhausting and more than I would have imagined but I appreciated the thoroughness. The fact that I was considered such a huge part of this. And once that was all done, the real hard part came – picking out which intended parents I wanted to carry for.
I was given a bunch of profiles and letters of couples struggling and in need of a surrogate. I had no idea how I would choose or who I would pick. At this point, I just wanted to help someone in need and I didn’t have any type of preference on who. I didn’t want to make this decision, I thought it would be impossible. I asked my husband to help and as much as he didn’t want to make the decision either, we both knew we had to. So we sat down together and read through some profiles and letters. And it was at letter number 3 where we both stopped midway, tears in our eyes and knew immediately that this was the couple we wanted to help, the couple we needed to help. We both felt it, a strong connection and knew in our hearts that it was meant to be or at least hoped it was, as now the couple that we picked would see our profile and read our letter and have a chance to decide whether or not I was the one they wanted to carry their baby.
Luckily for us, the couple felt the exact same way and we were instantly matched together. We had the opportunity to speak on the phone and during that conversation we all agreed that we felt like knew each other. We had so much in common, shared some similar life experiences and felt like if we had met in person we would all be great friends – which turned out to be true as about 2 weeks later, we found ourselves face to face. Although we were all a bit nervous, the conversation flowed smoothly. We felt very comfortable with one another as if we had known each other for years. It was such a relieve and made all of this that much more exciting. We could not wait to be on this journey together.
So as my husband finishes administering my first (of many) hormone injections, we both feel nothing but excitement and happiness. To be able to do this for another couple, a couple we have already grown to love, we feel blessed and honored. We truly cannot wait to see what the future holds for all of us but until then we must patiently wait for the end of the month when our embryo transfer day is finally here.
– Written by K.S., current gestational surrogate with Family Inceptions
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